Like Mother,Like Daughter: Why Knitting is My Favorite Hobby

As a young girl, I couldn’t wait to be old enough for my mother to teach me how to knit. When I was about eight, she bought me a “knitting mushroom,” which is a spool that allows beginners to knit in-the-round, making an “i-cord” or a narrow tube that can later be shaped into various objects with a few stitches, such as tiny rugs for dollhouses or hats for teddy bears.

As I got older, I either became intimidated by her skill and afraid that I wouldn’t live up to her expectations or I was just being a rebellious brat, because I stopped knitting and instead picked up just about every other needle craft you can think of: rug hooking, cross stitch, crocheting, and so on. If my mother had been disappointed, I don’t remember hearing about it.

Phony Self-Esteem and the Real Deal

When my son was in kindergarten at the local public school, twenty years ago, developing self-esteem was one of the main goals. Teachers used numerous ways to work this concept into the curriculum and daily schedules, but the one I remember the most were the “books” the five-year-olds wrote, even before the majority knew how to read. The students were told to come up with a story and then “write” and illustrate it. They were then praised for their work. What is wrong with this? Plenty. It is wrong to instruct a student to do work that they are incapable of doing and then congratulate them for a job well done. This makes no sense whatsoever and it in no way helps a child develop a healthy self-esteem. In fact, I would argue that self-esteem could be damaged when the child, especially an intelligent, inquisitive one, figures out that he or she didn’t do such a great job after all. Real self-esteem is developed instead when one has a proper view of oneself in relation to others, the world, and God; when one has the kind of security that comes from having a stable home life, and feels loved, valued, and needed; and when one has a true sense of accomplishment that can only come when various skills have been mastered.

The Written Word: Say Something Nice

The Written Word: Say Something Nice: When I was young, my mom taught me this wise saying: “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” I have tried to ...

Say Something Nice

When I was young, my mom taught me this wise saying: “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” I have tried to abide by this and have taught it to my children. It’s a good rule to follow. I have a new one to add to it: “If you have something good to say, say it.” Never make something up or in any way say something insincere, but if you can honestly bless someone by saying something nice, do it. Life is hard and a few kind words don’t cost anything, but have a whole lot of worth.

A dear friend who just lost her father told me that he had told her, two weeks prior to his death, that she was “such a good mother,” with emphasis on the word “such.” She cried when she told me this because it meant so much to be validated in her most important work by the first important man in her life. Even though he is no longer here, she will always have those words – that blessing – to keep as a treasure worth more than a roomful of gold.

This story pales in comparison, but whenever I can, I try to encourage young people. I frequently tutor high school students in writing and always try to find something positive to say in order to be an encouragement. The reason I like to do this is because I remember well how difficult it is to be that age, not really knowing  where you’re going next or what you’re doing. Plus, you are at the mercy of so many different authority figures as your future is being determined. So, I like to try to lighten the mood a bit by saying something nice.

Whatever you choose to call it – paying it forward, bucket filling, doing unto others as you’d have them do unto you – it’s something positive in this frequently ugly and sad world, so that’s a good thing. The key is sincerity. If it’s not sincere, then don’t say it. If you can honestly bless someone with a true compliment, do it. You never know how much it might mean.

Goodbye, Our Dear Friend, Pastor Don Sweeney

Today was one of the worst days of my life. It didn’t start out that way. It started out with John waking up sick, which is bad enough, but pretty normal at my house. So, I had to tell my Dad that he couldn’t visit because we try with all our might not to spread germs to him since it can make him very sick. I suggested that I bring Charlotte to visit him, since she is having a birthday and they were both excited about her gifts: him giving and her receiving. He thought it was a great idea, so a little while later, we headed out. Just as I turned onto my Dad’s street, I got a call from my husband, who was obviously sobbing, saying that Pastor Don Sweeney had just passed away that morning. My whole body started shaking and it took all I had to finish the drive safely.

Don Sweeney was one of my family’s closest friends. He was so close, in fact, that he was really more like family, as we also consider the rest of his immediate relatives. He was our pastor for many years when we attended Community Bible Church. He baptized our oldest son, counseled us for numerous hours, and was a wonderful example of a man whose heart longed to share Christ. He had the caring, deeply loving heart of a pastor, and the gospel of the God he loved so much was what he wanted to share with whomever he met or wherever he preached.

A "Typical" Homeschool Day

Friends and acquaintances sometimes wonder what a “typical” homeschool day is like. While there can be unexpected challenges and surprises on occasion, most of our school days have a routine that has worked well for us.

Shortly after waking up, we sit down to eat breakfast. I have always insisted on this because it is well known that this is the most important meal of the day. It jump-starts metabolism and wakes up the brain so that children can be at their sharpest mentally, ready to learn and work hard on their studies. Furthermore, eating a nutritious breakfast is a powerful weapon against obesity because it not only speeds up metabolism, but studies have also shown that people who don’t eat the first meal compensate by consuming too many calories later, usually at night and usually with a sluggish metabolism.

Right after breakfast, everyone pitches in to get chores done. This is one of the major benefits of homeschooling, in my opinion. Instead of rushing out the door, kids who are homeschooled can help take care of pets, do the dishes, take out the garbage, make beds, and help with laundry. When home is also a “classroom,” it is even more important to keep it clean and neat. Clutter and messes are a distraction. It should be noted that a huge side benefit of this is that kids who have daily chores really internalize the fact that they are important and that their help is needed. This is one of the ways that “self-esteem” is properly developed, unlike the contrived and ineffective methods used in the public schools.

The Importance of Home

My childhood bedroom: It’s been twenty years since I’ve seen it, and yet I can picture it as though I had been there yesterday…..

One of the first memories I have of being in my bedroom is lying paralyzed in bed, terrified by a dream of a bear chasing me all over the neighborhood. I couldn’t move, but I could speak, so I called out for my Dad. He heard me, even though my door was shut and the hallway to his bedroom was long. After being comforted by him, all was well again in my little world, and I fell back to sleep.

I spent hours in my room. It was mine. It was big. It was comfortable. Plus, I liked being alone more than anything. I was always more relaxed with my own company. And a lot of creative work took place in that room. My father, first a newspaper reporter, then a columnist, then a public relations executive, was always my role model. I wanted to be a reporter, too, so I started The Harbor Court Times, named for our street.